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Poll

Is the Online You similar to the Real Life You?

In real life, I am different from how I am online, and that's the way I like it.
- 3 (42.9%)
In real life, I am different from how I am online, but I wish it was more alike.
- 1 (14.3%)
I've found a comfortable equilibrium and am at peace with both my real and digital personas. Couldn't ask for more.
- 0 (0%)
In real life, I am the same as how I am online, and that's the way I like it.
- 3 (42.9%)
In real life, I am the same as how I am online, but I wish there was more of a difference.
- 0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 7


Author Topic: IRL v.s. Digital You  (Read 9861 times)

Chara

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IRL v.s. Digital You
« on: October 14, 2008, 07:14:38 AM »

This goes in Random because of the lack of a 'general chat' board, but I intend for this to be more serious chat, not for the lulz.


I've touched on this topic with Seno, but someone gave me extra food for thought on this topic ;|



Although I voted the first option, I feel my identities blurring progressively over the years. Originally, I was able to be much more expressive digitally, but my physical self has made leaps forward in the time since. Either way, I love communicating digitally because of the anonymity-- no predisposed assumptions or expectations one gets from physically meeting someone.
« Last Edit: December 17, 2008, 10:33:53 PM by Chara »
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XiongMao-kun

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #1 on: October 14, 2008, 09:50:27 AM »

No, I seriously am a cute panda in real life.
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Halumbooka

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #2 on: October 14, 2008, 01:38:55 PM »

I think that'd be a pretty difficult thing to judge by yourself... First of all, what we think of ourselves isn't always true (the majority of people hold themselves in higher regard than others). Secondly, given the nature of the internet, people can interpret the same lexicon in hugely different ways (u r here = short form or idiocy). Thirdly, assumed implications (especially sarcasm) rarely come through over the internet.

soo...I don't think the results of the poll are going to be valid =P
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tai

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2008, 02:19:39 AM »

The more I talk IRL the less I talk digitally. The less I talk IRL the more i talk digitally. They seem to oppose each other, for some reason.
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Chara

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2008, 07:43:53 AM »

I think that'd be a pretty difficult thing to judge by yourself... First of all, what we think of ourselves isn't always true (the majority of people hold themselves in higher regard than others). Secondly, given the nature of the internet, people can interpret the same lexicon in hugely different ways (u r here = short form or idiocy). Thirdly, assumed implications (especially sarcasm) rarely come through over the internet.

soo...I don't think the results of the poll are going to be valid =P


The sort of differences I had in mind have a lot to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. Do you like the way you come across online better than the way you are seen in 'real' social scenarios? Is there a gap in your social skills online and off? Are you as confidant, funny, gutsy, openly perverted, blunt, critical off or online?

I think people's opinions of whether or not they themselves act differently or the same itself is an interesting result-- even if when judged by a neutral person, they would disagree with someone's vote. Its impossible to poll for anything other than one's own opinion of whether or not they are different anyway-- for example, when IRL friends came to IRC, it became a factor for my behavior and how I should conduct myself on IRC. So there's no way someone else could be a judge (for me).
« Last Edit: October 15, 2008, 07:48:34 AM by Chara »
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Casusby

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2008, 01:23:40 PM »

When I was much younger and on the internet, my two personalities of online and real life were polar opposites. Out going and quite vocal online, yet timid and quiet in real life. Over the last few years though, I've been moving towards syncing up with my online persona, which is something I'm quite proud of and enjoy, even marvel at. Not to mention that it's pretty much who I really am. I'm no where near that stage yet though, and people still find the two personalities very different.

Of course, I try and work at it all the time, even with the existing friends I have who mostly expect me to be a quiet addition to the evening's activities (drinking).

What usually holds me back is the idea that online and real life are different systems. You can be quite flirtatious and perverted online without as much consequence or ill-standing with whoever you're doing it to as you would in real life, because online is much safer and there's no threat of actual contact. You can do all that and still be considered many other qualities that would overshadow your more risque behavior.

Trying to do that in real life though, your actions will stay with you much longer and be your definition. Something people are less willing to accept in real life I find. What ever other redeeming qualities you have about yourself would be pretty much ignored.

But that's just what I think of course ;\
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XiongMao-kun

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2008, 10:19:05 PM »

The sort of differences I had in mind have a lot to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. Do you like the way you come across online better than the way you are seen in 'real' social scenarios? Is there a gap in your social skills online and off? Are you as confidant, funny, gutsy, openly perverted, blunt, critical off or online?

I have to say, though I do my best not to, they tend to overlap. I don't spend enough effort trying to keep each separate from the other. Frankly, in fact, I see no point in doing such a thing as I was raised on the principle of "be yourself."

Interestingly enough, stuff I pick up online seems to end up IRL too; for instance, I started randomly hugging guys recently to freak them out (which has been extremely effective).

Oh, and you strangely just described how I act in person in your last line (except I'm only openly perverted when I'm acting), and it's up to you to judge if I'm like that online.
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Chara

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #7 on: October 15, 2008, 11:27:11 PM »

I have to say, though I do my best not to, they tend to overlap. I don't spend enough effort trying to keep each separate from the other. Frankly, in fact, I see no point in doing such a thing as I was raised on the principle of "be yourself."

When I am different online from how I am offline, its not that the offline me is more real and online is a projection, or vice versa. They are both 'myself', but my online persona may be a part of myself that I am unable to express in real life. Like what Casusby said in his post, the online me may actually be a better portrayal of who I am (or who I want to be) because its easier to regulate and convey yourself without the physical factor. Especially if you physically fit a stereotype that you don't actually identify with. There's not much you can do about the physical shell that you came in...


I wonder, for those who have met me IRL, when I speak online, do you imagine my real voice/self saying it? Or is it text on a page, like anyone else.

I'm also curious about how e-penises factor in to digital persona. Those of you who have administrative/staff-like positions somewhere on the net, has Status changed your digital persona at all? When I was younger, something like my first OP/hOP in a channel certainly had an effect. Eventually I grew to write the same regardless of where I am or what status I have on the internet.
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kiwiish

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2008, 01:12:08 PM »

I think there will always be a difference between the online me and offline me, simply because I find it easier to express myself in writing: the main thing is that I have more time to digest and respond (like right now - IRL you probably would just get a *shrug* from me), and I suppose subconsciously we all take it for granted of the anonymity and the apparent lack of consequence for what we say or do online.

Another thing is that I am not very good at group conversations IRL. In a group, I tend to stay quiet, laugh at stuff, but not contribute much to the convo. You'll find me more open on a one-to-one basis. Even if there's 3 of us, I find it harder to join in if the other 2 know each other better than I know either of them. Online, it doesn't matter as much how many ppl are in the convo, or when you butt in, so in a way I act as if I am having a 'one-to-one' conversation with the internet (like talking to myself? lol). Though, if say I go to a new place (e.g. new channel or forum), it's similar as if I meet a new person IRL. I tend to be more quiet/reserved at first.

Finally, I'd just like to note that I don't think I have any friends IRL who are as horny as this group. (I don't really have any guy friends, but that's beside the point.)
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Casusby

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #9 on: October 17, 2008, 06:24:36 AM »

I wonder, for those who have met me IRL, when I speak online, do you imagine my real voice/self saying it? Or is it text on a page, like anyone else.

Actually, whenever I say Motoko-chan in my head, I hear it in your voice. That's like the only thing.

I'm also curious about how e-penises factor in to digital persona. Those of you who have administrative/staff-like positions somewhere on the net, has Status changed your digital persona at all? When I was younger, something like my first OP/hOP in a channel certainly had an effect. Eventually I grew to write the same regardless of where I am or what status I have on the internet.

Ask directly why don't ya? ; ) I think the status has just amplified what I was previously. Was I bossy, perverted and all that fun stuff that I am before Dynasty? Yes. but once I went up in rank and people started to obey me, it was massive ego inflation. Now my real self is a lot more cocky, and anywhere else I go on the net is just a dimmed down version of how I am on IRC.
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Chara

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2008, 10:55:36 AM »

Ask directly why don't ya? ; ) I think the status has just amplified what I was previously. Was I bossy, perverted and all that fun stuff that I am before Dynasty? Yes. but once I went up in rank and people started to obey me, it was massive ego inflation. Now my real self is a lot more cocky, and anywhere else I go on the net is just a dimmed down version of how I am on IRC.


Well, I wanted to keep it open to everyone, not just scanlation/fansub group leaders and ex-leaders in which case only me, you, Motoko-chan and Maris would apply.

For me, getting my first hOP gave me confidence online, but not a digital-ego-inflation per se. My IRC ego grew as I became a better and better editor, producing higher caliber work. Rather than being able to kick people (which is nice) I relished in pwning the run-of-the-mill editor. Becoming 'head editor' here was a nice boost, although frankly it didn't change anything in terms of my function at BWYS (except that  people started flooding my email with shitty applications).

Does my current status here affect my ego? Not really. Since I'd already become ego-comfortable before now. Rather than having a bigger ego, I think its more like I have a bigger club. The kind that can hit people. Even though I could (and most people in my shoes would), I have yet to really 'boss' people into really doing work for BWYS.


But I did get great satisfaction from cutting all those BWYS projects. I've been fantasizing of dropping those things for years.
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tai

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2008, 03:24:28 PM »

that hop doesn't really mean much to me. It's just convenient when some spammer/bot needs to be banned, and so dita/panda can't ban me for /nick pandasis amongst other small things. I don't really understand the concept of e-penii, i just listen to whoever sounds like they're making the most sense.
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XiongMao-kun

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #12 on: October 17, 2008, 10:05:15 PM »

I can still ban hOPs, I just can't kick you.
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Chara

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2008, 02:35:27 AM »

that hop doesn't really mean much to me. It's just convenient when some spammer/bot needs to be banned, and so dita/panda can't ban me for /nick pandasis amongst other small things. I don't really understand the concept of e-penii, i just listen to whoever sounds like they're making the most sense.


Because you didn't quite earn it the normal way. And you don't read manga in the first place.
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Halumbooka

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Re: IRL v.s. Digital You
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2008, 04:21:49 PM »

I think that'd be a pretty difficult thing to judge by yourself... First of all, what we think of ourselves isn't always true (the majority of people hold themselves in higher regard than others). Secondly, given the nature of the internet, people can interpret the same lexicon in hugely different ways (u r here = short form or idiocy). Thirdly, assumed implications (especially sarcasm) rarely come through over the internet.

soo...I don't think the results of the poll are going to be valid =P


The sort of differences I had in mind have a lot to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. Do you like the way you come across online better than the way you are seen in 'real' social scenarios? Is there a gap in your social skills online and off? Are you as confidant, funny, gutsy, openly perverted, blunt, critical off or online?

I think people's opinions of whether or not they themselves act differently or the same itself is an interesting result-- even if when judged by a neutral person, they would disagree with someone's vote. Its impossible to poll for anything other than one's own opinion of whether or not they are different anyway-- for example, when IRL friends came to IRC, it became a factor for my behavior and how I should conduct myself on IRC. So there's no way someone else could be a judge (for me).

Yeah I don't think the other option would make a lot of sense either since most of us don't really know what the other people are like offline, and as you said it becomes even more skewed because behaviour changes once there's people you know. I just wanted to point out that the function of the poll wouldn't entirely work (sorry too much stats for me lately). I still think it's an interesting discussion topic though.

Another thing is though, by IRL self, what social setting are you referring to? I know I don't always behave the exact same way in different social circles.
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